Fumbling towards inner peace

Posted on January 22nd, 2008 by Shawn in Authenticity, Coming out of hiding, Freedom Challenge, Stretching the comfort zone

I found this blog with poetry about love, inner peace, broken hearts…   The author's name wasn't apparent, unfortunately.  Here's a snippet: 

Looking deep within to find that place of peace
Opening up your heart to expose nothing but the truth
Vulnerable feelings flow as you find out more and more
Every day a challenge as another layer removed

Yes, isn't inner peace about love?  Loving yourself.  Coming to grips with who you are…warts and all. Finding out more and more…going back to some of the forgotten and buried places and giving them a good cleaning.  Letting the shame and/or judgments be washed away.  At least that's how it's working for me.  I've finally finished a teacher's internship program and realize there's still a hesitation about going out and being seen.  A mentor has been mentioning for some time that I've some issues around fear hindering my stepping out.  I haven't wanted to "go there."  And now, it may be time.  One of the first "reasons" I face when looking at why I hide:  I do try to be a good person, but I've done a number of things I'm sooo not proud of.  The "really awful ones" were a long time ago, they're over and done with.  Except in my mind and in those places I've allowed shame and judgments about them to fester.  No inner peace is gonna grow in that environment!  Phewww!  Bit by bit, though, letting fresh air and healing energy, love, acceptance in – then that peace, and joy, and love can take root and grow.  

I may not ever LIKE some of my past actions, but the idea that I can let go of the shame and judgments?  Yes, that's a distinct possibility.  Another way of being set free.  Free at last, free at last.  Thank God Almighty, free at last.   I'm imagining I'm hearing Martin Luther King, Jr. speak those words.  Was he the one who spoke them so eloquently?   I've so appreciated hearing about him the last few days.  He is one of those who makes me want to play a bigger "game" than the one I am comfortable with…  May we all take greater stands for what is right, and just, and healthy, and holy and whole.

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