Stirred after fluffing

Shawn — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 02:52:37 +0000

It’s so great to be in a place where you know you’re being stirred up and that you’ve asked for it, even if not exactly in the way it’s showing up. So, I’ve been practicing the art of heart fluffing. Feels great at the time. Really great. And then in the next few days lots of those kinds of mucky pieces hanging around in you get stirred up and become more noticeable. Cool, even if not fun! Last few days having been feeling like Paul and I need LOTS of space – being away from each other. Yuck stuff…on the other hand, this is really what’s up for healing. And by fluffing up my heart and asking that it be cleaned…well, this is answered prayer, isn’t it? Amen! (Now, this minute I’m feeling this way, when Paul’s in the other room!) Clean, clean, clean!

So, not only the fluffing has been happening, but I took a jaunt to San Francisco today for my spiritual direction session with Carol Costello. And today I had time to also see my aunt and uncle who live nearby and go past the homes that my grandmothers lived in. More stirring! Just being in San Francisco brings me back to being a little girl growing up in the early 60’s. Golden Gate Park. Larson Pool. The aquarium. 19th Avenue, Stonestown, the Emporium windows at Christmas. The fog.

The forecast for SF (in the Sacramento paper) was patchy, morning fog. I should have known better!

Heart fluffing Parts of the last year have been a little hard...

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Releasing Shame

Shawn — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 15:29:25 +0000

What is it about shame?

Holding on to shame, continuing to harbor negative feelings about our sense of shame, severely limits us from being who we’ve been created to be – we don’t feel great about ourselves because we’re ashamed, feel less than, having to hide something; we aren’t as open as we’d like to be, particularly if we’re seeking authenticity, which so many of us are today.

What kinds of things do women feel shame about?

Well, there are the “big” things lying, cheating, stealing (…oh, Lord, I hate to admit it, I’ve done all of those things at one time or another). The things we did do and the things we didn’t do. And the other things we wouldn’t particularly want our neighbors or colleagues to know about us.

Where does your body hold shame?

Often shame lodges in the belly and/or solar plexus. Begin to notice where you feel your body reacting to the shame you feel about a shame-inducing incident. It feels to me like I’m pulling in, hiding, covering myself.

Go kinda easy on yourself

One of the gifts I’m receiving is an opportunity to heal huge amounts of shame I’ve held on to for years, as well as the more recent stuff. Although some of it feels pretty crappy, there is also space and a peace, particularly as I can open up and let God into those dark and lonely places. I am so grateful that I can see the benefits of this process – as it’s pretty foul stuff that’s coming up. This is what I’ve been asking for…to be clean and used by God. Wouldn’t it be great to appreciate more of our process/journey? Hopefully, more and more with time – I guess this is part of the process, too! It’s not an easy process, but I can feel it will be well worth it.

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How would your life be more fulfilling with less shame?

Becoming Kamala Over the last several years, I’ve thought of changing my...

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Vibrantly Alive Women » healing

Stirred after fluffing

Releasing Shame

INQUIRY: