The program I went on was great. Seriously. Day One went well…until I heard my husband talking to his brother who was in a nearby town, traveling with his parents from Lake Tahoe to Sothern Califonria. It was rather late in the day and I began to cringe as I realized there was every likelihood that they would be asking to stay at our place, given the time of day and the length of their trip. As I listened to their discussion, I began saying “No. No. No.” while my husband was saying, “Well, of course, you can stay here. Mom and Dad can sleep on the futon and we can get the air mattress for you.” Now don’t get me wrong, I am actually very fond of my in-laws, but I was detoxing – from SUGAR (and caffeine). I hadn’t seen my husband in four days and I really wanted some quiet time with him. And although I wasn’t experiencing cravings for sweets, I’d been a pretty cranky camper, not being able to consume my usual chocolate!

From that point on, my usually fairly compassionate nature went out the window. I was seething – about everything. It was like waking up on the really wrong side of the bed – and staying there. The in-laws only stayed one night, but the experience opened up a can of worms I wasn’t expecting to find.

I am realizing, of course, that sugar likely numbs the anger and frustration that I, trying to be loving and gracious, don’t want to deal with. And don’t really know HOW to deal with maturely. Which makes it just that much worse – I wind up being angry that at my age, I don’t know how to “do anger.” God bless all my friends who remind me that many women don’t know how to deal with anger in ways that work for them. They remind me that I’m learning this for myself, and that this is actually a GOOD thing!

All in all, I do recognize this as having a very positive, very productive aspect to it. I’m learning that dance helps, writing helps, praying helps, baths help, the dog and cat help. Supportive friends are Godsends. And, I made it through 5 days without caffeine or sugar! That is worth celebrating!

I’ve actually learned so much this week! Another layer has been removed and I get to go deeper in my personal and spiritual growth. This is what I ask for.

If, by chance, you do want to try a sugar detox, by all means, do. (take a peek at http://yourhealthpotential.com – Shanna is great!)  Just make sure you can give yourself the space and gentleness you need. And, seriously, think twice before you let unexpected guests (whoever or whatever they may be)  encroach on that space you need!

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I did a presentation recently about embracing change. The president of the company wanted me to emphasize that change and growth required innovation and the willingness to make mistakes.

You've got to break some eggs to make an omelet

It was so interesting to feel the room go cold when I mentioned making mistakes being a part of learning and growing. Despite the president’s intention to create an environment for innovation, most of the people in the room were not comfortable with making mistakes. Whether it was their own internal system or the feeling that their supervisors did not have the “capacity” to accept mistakes as a healthy part of growth, the air in the room made it clear that something needed to change in a big way before the staff felt they really had the room to make mistakes. At some level we know that mistakes aren’t “bad” and that we can learn and grow from them, but most of us just want to get “it” right. We don’t feel like we have the time, let alone the permission, to make mistakes that we can learn from, that will give us the freedom in which to innovate!

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I was in my early thirties when I began, literally, to wake up to questions about my vocation.  By all appearances, thing were going well, but the soul does not put much stock in appearances.  Seeking a path more purposeful than accumulating wealth, holding power, winning at competition, or securing a career, I had started to understand that it is indeed possible to live a life other than one’s own…Then I ran across the old Quaker saying, “Let your life speak.”  I found those words encouraging, and I thought I understood what they meant: “Let the highest truths and values guide you.  Live up to those demanding standards in everything you do.”…Today, some thirty years later, “Let your life speak” means something else to me…”Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you.  Before you tell your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent.”
- Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak

It’s quite a feat to learn what’s yours and what’s some kernel of your truth, covered over by influences of society, media, celebrity.  But the soul knows, and as Palmer says, it does not put much stock in appearances.

What is your life saying to you?

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